I miss her.

We used to talk. Even though I've never been much of a "talker" I could share my feelings, open up, cry, be honest with her.

I miss her.

We used to flirt. I miss that. Now I feel like I repulse her when I touch her in public. Its not always sexual. I'm a guy, I like sex, but my touch isn't always about that. I miss acting silly in stores, flirting, hugging, holding hands, putting my arm around her and she wouldn't feel awkward.

I miss her

I want to share with her without her feeling accused or blamed. Do I do that? Do I blame her? I don't mean to. I just want her to know how I feel

I feel she cares about the opinions of others more than mine. Maybe because I don't talk much. Its a vicious cycle. I think that she thinks I say things but that I don't mean them.

I miss her.

I used to be emotional. I'd cry about a lot of things. Now I don't know when the last time I cried was. I feel so hard, so bottled up. I know my hardness affects her. I don't want it to. All I've ever wanted since I fell in love with her is for her to be happy. Whatever it took. If I can look happy maybe she will be happy...

I love her. Bottom line. When I see her across a room, my heart still flutters. Its awesome. But I only see that in her about me when times are good. Why does she shut me out? What is it that I don't understand?

She has stuck by me in my worst of times. Addiction to porn, bad attitudes, laziness, etc. I love her for that. She is truly beautiful. Words can't describe the way I see her.

I miss her