Sunday, May 9, 2010

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above"

We sang this part of the song during praise and worship this morning and it slapped me in the face. Why am I so prone to wander? I love God but why do I find it so hard to stay on His path for me? And with that, what is His path for me?

I've been desiring more and more to do mission work, but how, where, what's the cost, do I know enough... My focus has been too much on my limitations than on God's providence.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

A little girl
In her room
Its a nice day
She rides her bike
Smiling, laughing
It's a good day

On her way home
She remembers she forgot her chores
Will her parents be mad
She apologizes
No mercy
No love seen

She had only love in her heart
Where was the love in return
She had lost so much already
She longed to be loved back
But all she could find was hearache

She was called to something more
Surely there was more to her life
She had been chosen, selected, plucked out
Of her misery

She is all grown up
No longer a little girl
Still lost, still seeking her calling to be fulfilled

Love was found
In an unlikely place
Was it enough, would it last
Or would it be taken away

But from childhood
She had built up walls
She learned to protect herself
She learned not to be loved
Learned not to show love

But she longed for it
To give it, to receive it
She longed for her calling
She longed for more than her life had accomplished
Her vision was fading

But she had been called, chosen, plucked out
She was placed within love's boundaries
Love could not escape her
She need only to embrace it

To accept the love of her Father
Sent through her husband, children, and friends
Would it hurt, would she hurt, could she lose it
Yes it would, she would, it could

But she would have it, Him
He was what she needed
He is Love
Without His Love, she would fulfill her calling, her vision

And her vision would not fade
It was awaiting its appointed time
It seemed slow, but she waited
It will surely come and without delay

Only she could fulfill her calling
Her vision was hers alone
He would fulfill that which was promised
She need only embrace every aspect

She was a little girl
Now a beautiful woman
A wonderful mother
An exceptional wife
A daughter, called, chosen, plucked out
With a Father that would not forsake her

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Melodies of Grace

I wrote this one a while back. Thought I'd post it.

I am so alone
And I call out Your name
And I pray to hear You whisper

Your melodies of Grace

But the world is too loud
And I'm inflicted with pain
But one touch from Your Spirit
And I'll feel Your melodies of grace.

And as I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death
I know that You will lead me
Through melodies of grace

So Jesus I call out
Have mercy on me
And reveal to me from Your heart

Your melodies of grace

Blessed are you oh Lord
Teach me your ways
Open up my eyes
To see Your melodies of grace.

Now my soul will wait silently
For You alone I'll wait
And if we trust and pour our hearts out

We'll hear Your melodies of grace.

Melodies, melodies. Melodies of grace
Sent from heaven
God's holy rain

Ref Psalms 23, Psalms 25, Psalms 119:18

basically, the things God reveals to us, speaks to us, leads us into and out of are His melodies of grace to us. We know his grace is abounding. We sing songs to Him....those are melodies of grace. People being healed, delivered, saved....all melodies of grace that make us want to sing to him songs of thanksgiving, or repentance, or exaltation.


Men of the earth
How long will you assail your brother
And hate him in your heart
You delight in your deceit
And as you bless with your mouth
You let curses dwell in your soul

But my soul will wait silently, for God alone
For He is my salvation
He is my rock and my stronghold
I shall not be, I shall not be...shaken

Men of the earth
You are no more than a breath
Do not trust in vain
The thievery from the land
And as you gain in wealth
Set your heart on the Lord

But my soul will wait silently, for God alone
For He is my salvation
He is my rock and my stronghold
I shall not be, I shall not be...shaken

Trust in him all you people
And poor your heart out before him
For God alone is our refuge, Selah!, Selah!, Selah!

I have heard the Lord God speak
He is strong and abounding in love

So my soul will continue to wait silently for God alone
For He is my salvation
He is my rock and my stronghold
I shall not be, I shall not be...shaken
I shall not be, I shall not be...shaken

Psalms 62.

Friday, August 1, 2008

What is Love?

So God has been speaking to me about loving Him, my wife, my family, my friends, my co workers, strangers, etc. I can love my wife like Christ loves the church, with a holy love, but I can I love Christ the way I love my wife.

While on vacation Melinda asked me about a song that talked about being "in love" with God. I've always thought that being "in love" as worldly. Did God want our worldly love? I thought God deserved more than that. Melinda didn't know at the time that I had written a song about her that was also what I thought was a reflection of God's love for us, but God is showing me that it should also be about my love for Him. John said something to the affect of that being "in love" is the love we know, the love we have to offer and shouldn't we offer that to God? (sorry John if I'm not quoting you exactly :)

I want to love Him deeper. The deeper I love Him the deeper and more complete my love for others will be. The more I can feel His love/spirit guide me. I want to love Him so much that I would cross any obstacle to be in His presence. After all He has done that for me.

Deuteronomy 6:5 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might"

We are comanded to do this, but moreover the Spirit in me DESIRES it. It is in the Holy Spirits character to love the Father and the Son unconditionally. My flesh, and laziness gets in the way.

Lord help me to love you, my wife, my family, my friends, and my neighbors they way you love me....

I'd walk across the desert
Parched and dry
To be in your arms
To catch a glimpse of your smile

I'd swim across the sea
Ravaged by the waves
Just to be with you
The rest of my days

I'm falling in love
From heights up above
There is no end to my fall
I want to heed love's call

I'd fly across the sky
Through the clouds
Just to feel your touch
And to hear you laugh aloud

I'd walk across the tundra
In the freezing cold
And at the end of my journey
You'd be the one to hold.

I'm falling in love
From heights up above
There is no end to my fall
I want to heed to love's call

Monday, July 21, 2008

More than a Sprinkle

My soul longs for You
my soul longs for you
Nothin' else will do
nothin' else will do
My soul longs for You
my soul longs for you
Nothin' else will do
nothin' else will do...

I believe You will come like the rain...

You'll come like the rain
So let it rain let it rain let it rain let it rain...

Hallelujah Halleljujah You'll make all things new

So Melinda and I were listening to this song the other day and Caeli out of no where says... "God will come like the rain. He will, I believe it" Melinda asked her what that meant and she said that the rain waters the grass and trees so they can grow and fills up the streams.

I was WOWED!. Where is my faith like that? I struggle with consistantly believe God will come like the rain to refresh me, to fill me with His Spirit. But it is so true. He comes when we need Him. Not too long ago Lake Lewisville was really low as most lakes were. Then at the beginning of the year we got a lot of rain, lakes were refilled, the green grass that grows all around was filling lawns. He came and provided as we were in a panic. A plant doesn't need Brawndo

Lord my soul longs for you like the tree longs for the rain, nothing will else will satisfy. Let it rain on me, my friends, my family. Let your spirit soak us in peace, righteousness, faith, love, mercy, and forgiveness. I need you Lord to lead me. I need you to lift me up.

Isaiah 45:8 "Shower, O heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain down righteousness; let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit; let the earth cause them both to sprout; I the LORD have created it."

Sunday, July 6, 2008


I've never been one to make many friends. I've made a lot of acquaintances. I've kept people at a distance and when I've tried the next step things always fell apart. Its not that I don't want them closer but that I don't think they want to be closer. I keep conversations casual, not too deep.

I lost what I thought were friends when I became a christian. They thought I had a "Holier than thou" attitude because I stopped doing drugs, and things that I did before. And since then I have been slow to allow anyone in. But God has changed that in me. I have brothers and sisters in Christ that I now consider family...closer than a brother, closer than a friend.

It was tough for me. I judged a lot. And had taken on the "Holier than thou" that I didn't want. I judged to a point that God had me confess it to the whole church. I loved my friends and my heart ached at what I was doing to them in secret. I criticized instead of lifting up in prayer. Thankfully they forgave me. I enjoy the time we spend together and look forward to it every week. The fun and fellowship. But I must admit to longing for more. I've felt recently that its stayed too much on the surface. God is working in all of our lives, but other than "blogging" we rarely speak about what God is doing. His love for us is amazing. Galatians 6:2 says that we should "Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ". I also want to share in their joys.

I've recently started meeting with one of my friends weekly. Its another part of my week I look forward to. I pray God blesses our time together. Whatever He may have in store I'm ready for.

Now it was a bit awkward to post this considering all my friends will read it, but I really wanted to share my heart. He is beautiful in all the ways he reveals Himself, through nature, our children, friends, etc. To see His image, His creation.

my playlist